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Everlasting Gobstopper

Originally designed “for children with very little money”, the Everlasting Gobstopper is also a reminder that we never stop wanting or needing stuff; and once you see it, you can quit acting like the world owes you a favour and act accordingly.

Advice vs Experience

My advice is worth nish, if I don’t have skin in the game. It might come from a good place, but that’s about it.

My experience, on the other hand, offers me a perspective that allows me to direct attention to places that others may have overlooked, and that could be priceless.

The alternative is to have no attachment to the outcome, just the process, and that’s coaching in its purest form.

A place to start

Howard Luks makes the point that the fitness industry is not designed for those who want/need to start looking after their physical health, but for those who are already sold on the lifestyle.

Who is it for?

What is it for?

Two questions worth asking when designing a service, product, or developing an idea.

It reminds me of the age-old problem of the expert designing the service, then wondering why it doesn’t work the way it should.

Replace should with could, and you might be in for a surprise.

If you want to design a practice where belonging is a design choice, not a slogan, then you might want to check out my new book, Good Coach Bad Coach.

Numbers game

It is said that the average author sells 250 copies of their book.

In reality, the median for self-published books is probably closer to 100-200 copies, with many selling fewer than 50. The average figure of 250 copies is inflated by authors like Stephen King at the top end of the market.

The math goes like this:

10 authors sell: 10, 50, 100, 150, 200, 200, 250, 300, 400, and 50,000 copies.

Mean: 5,166 copies
Median: 200 copies (half sold fewer, half sold more)

The game most authors play is the Attention Competition – do a better job than the competition, and you might sell north of 1,000 copies.

But the game is designed by the platforms. Amazon, traditional publishers, and social media algorithms benefit from authors competing for visibility, buying ads, and obsessing over rankings. The house always wins.

There is, however, a choice. You don’t need to play by the house rules.

A positive-sum, relationship-building game looks like this:

Success = relationship with the reader
Winning = becoming a trusted voice in your field
Strategy = create opportunities for connection, not sales

Game theory is compelling, but sometimes it pays to ask: What game am I playing, and what would happen if I focused not on winning but on staying in the game?

Get your game on track

It pays to know the game you are playing.

Long term………..Short term

Scarcity……….. Abundance

Control………..Chaos

Finite………..Infinte

Risk………..Uncertainty

Play an infinite game with finite strategies, and you might not get your wig pushed back, but sure as shit will spread confusion.

Sets, reps, or auto regulation, you decide.

Unlikely Alliances

The health board that engages with Pilates instructors and organic market gardeners.

Not finding people who agree with you, or seeking confirmation, but changing how things are done through unlikely alliances.

To change how things are done, change your perception: perception-action coupling.

What did you see that made you do what you do?

Starting with the problem

I’ve just built a sales page for my new book, Good Coach Bad Coach, and when I asked AI what it thought of the content, it told me to start with a clear problem statement upfront.

Here’s what’s not working, followed by why I understand the problem, and a solution.

That’s great when the problem is clear and obvious; at all other times, what we think the problem is — that’s the problem.

Start with a conversation instead.

A/B people

Coach Dan John has this idea that some people are A to B people and others are B to A people.

If you think you know where you are now (A), but only have a rough idea of where you want to go (B), then you are an A to B type person. That is to say, reality doesn’t need explaining, but what you want – well, that might need some clarity.

Elite athletes, on the other hand, are B to A people. They know exactly where they want to go (B); they just need a clear assessment of where they are now (A).

It is said that you must first start with the end in mind. And while being the fastest person on the planet over 100 meters is indeed an end in mind, it’s also unlikely to be the destination for most of us. So, what gives?

I wonder if short-term, sprint-like project thinking is the way to go.

Nothing lengthy, bold, or life-changing. Just a clear endpoint, a dose of reality, and an experience that teaches you something. Not an A to B or a B to A type person, but an A and B type person.

Journey

This arrived in the post today! Writing this book has been a hell of a journey, one I’m better off having finished!

Building a tolerance for uncertainty

So much I have written about recently is just that: building a tolerance for uncertainty. Perhaps that’s the stuff we should be talking about, not clarity. Here’s a wonderful quote from an article about scaffolding that is too good to pass up:

“..teaching requires tolerance for uncertainty about whether this particular child needs more time, a different approach, or simply your presence whilst they work through difficulty.”

Uncertainty doesn’t sell courses or get you good grades, but learning to sit with it might just be a skill worth learning.

What is training for?

Should training look and feel like a competitive match?

Preparation says:

  • We know what game day looks like
  • Training rehearses the solutions
  • Repetition grooves the pattern
  • The coach knows the answers
  • Players execute the plan
  • Success = doing what we practiced

Exploration says:

  • We don’t know what game day will throw at us
  • Training encounters problems
  • Variability builds adaptability
  • Players discover the answers
  • The coach creates conditions
  • Success = finding solutions we didn’t predict

Perhaps the struggle is not to make training look like a game, but to decide what your practice is for. It’s not that you can’t prepare and explore; you can, but it’s important to know which one your training is helping your players with.

Coaching conversation

There is clearly a difference between having a conversation about coaching and a conversation with a coach about what they are working on.

When we must act, we perceive tasks differently than when we simply observe. We decouple perception from action. Being “in it” versus taking an outside perspective.

With our arse on the line, we act differently.

Before we have conversations around coaching—nothing wrong with an outside perspective—we should ground ourselves in context, constraints, and the reality we face.

Inspired by action:

What I am working on now

Coach Camp

The offer of clarity

In a rush for clarity, to be seen as the expert or the answer, we can miss the point.

Sure, there are clear and obvious answers; there is also good practice, but for all else, chasing rainbows might be more fun.

Which way is the right way?

Differential learning teaches us something counterintuitive: how we get there matters less than why we’re going there.

Want to run fast? Great!

Try running with your hands above your head. Now try with high knees. Next, long strides!

This might seem counterintuitive—we wanted to run fast, not look crazy! But here’s the problem: when we stick to what feels “right,” we settle into bad habits and inefficient movement patterns. We settle.

The role of differential learning is first to disrupt us, then ask us to come up with new ways of doing the same thing. In time, we find our way to new, more effective ways of doing things.

It’s no different from when I used to work at football clubs. One of the first things I do is find a slight downward slope on the training ground and use it to my advantage. Want players to feel fast? No problem—I face them down the slope! Want them to work a little harder without noticing? I face them the other way.

How can you use it to your advantage?

If you’re training, try pedaling on the bike in the gym with your hands raised. Or, if you’re running, try swinging only one arm and leaving the other by your side. Complete 30 seconds, then try a new variation.

What do you notice? You might feel lighter, more balanced, or surprisingly faster when you return to “normal.” The disruption forces your body to find new solutions you didn’t know existed.

I use this a lot to disrupt my thinking. Right now, while I practice for my audiobook, I read slowly, then fast, then loudly before settling back to “normal.” I can’t say for sure what works or what doesn’t, but I can tell you this: being open to learning something new about what I’m trying to do changes how I approach the work entirely.

What routines and assumptions could you challenge this week?

Thoughts on the Welsh Bacc

I’ve noticed:

Welsh Bacc students ask to come into sports clubs to coach as part of their studies.

I wonder:

This presents an opportunity to use what already exists. Sports clubs develop their coaching culture. Coaches develop their mentoring skills. Welsh Bacc students develop their coaching.

Young Ambassadors from the Youth Sport Trust can play a role in this too.

What if:

Sports clubs in Wales work with schools to implement early coaching experiences. Mentors make thinking visible. They name the identity-practice gap. They create space for authentic reflection. This takes us a long way forward.

After all, we wouldn’t be asking Bacc students to do anything different, just to do it better.

For the sake of simplicity, I offer this as an example:

The Pro-Active Five (Planning)

What do you intend to do?

What other ways could you do that?

What will make you choose a certain way?

What would make you choose another option?

What will you do if it doesn’t work?

The Reactive Five (Reflecting)

What did you intend to do? (Recall the plan)

What actually happened?

Why do you think it happened that way?

What does that tell you about your coaching/the players/the learning?

What will you do next time?

This recommendation leverages a simple observation: telling someone else what to do is far easier than doing it yourself.

If we want coaches who are open, curious, and willing to learn, then perhaps we should ask them to teach those skills to someone else.

Nathan Walker: https://nwalkerpe.wordpress.com/2025/10/19/a-summary-of-my-thesis-how-mentors-influence-teachers-developing-professional-identity-beliefs-and-practice/

Lead with intention

As a coach, we have never had more resources. Drills, exercises, and training ideas are everywhere—many backed by big names and impressive credentials. But here’s the problem: having endless options doesn’t tell you which one to choose, or why.

Before you scroll through another coaching Instagram account or save another drill to your folder, ask yourself these questions:

What do you intend to do?

Be specific. Not just “warm-up” but what kind? For example: “I want a netball-style warm-up where kids practice football-like movements while developing hand-eye coordination.”

What other ways could you do that?

Could the kids kick instead of throw? Could you adapt it to Aussie Rules style? Could you use only overhead throws like throw-ins?

What will make you choose a certain way?

In this example, it could be the development of overall athletic ability, novel tasks, and fun.

What would make you choose another option?

If the kids aren’t enjoying it. 

What will you do if it doesn’t work? Try explaining the goal of the activity to the kids, ask what they liked and what they would change.

I’ve just come back from playing a version of Aussie Rules with a u 13’s football team I help coach. Was it representative of football? No, because there were no football-specific decisions to be made. Did the group enjoy the experience? Absolutely!

Lead with intention, and you might find you don’t need as many drills as you think.

Saying nothing is coaching

When every other part of you wanted to say something, but your brain tells you to say nothing, that is a coaching decision.

Not the same as having nothing to say.

Silence is coaching.

Three wise monkeys

Cover your eyes and you will see no evil.

Cover your ears and you will hear no evil.

Cover your mouth, and you will speak no evil.

It’s always worth doing the work to understand what people are seeing, hearing, and feeling in their environment.

You never know when you might find yourself pushing on a door that needs to be pulled.

Park Bench

When you look at a park bench, what do you see?

If you are tired, you might see the chance to sit down. Maybe it’s the place you sit and watch the world from. Or, perhaps it’s the place where you first learned to vault.

How we show up is important.

Tired? Take a seat. In a reflective mood? No problem, watch the world go by. Full of energy? First, try jumping off it, then maybe we can try vaulting from it.

Context matters.

So, too, our goals, and how we think we can achieve them.

Dan John talks about park bench and bus bench workouts. Bus bench workouts chase metrics: how far, how much, and how fast. Park bench workouts are about enjoying your body moving, being present, and being grateful for the opportunity to move and grow.

Much of what we perceive is shaped by hidden assumptions.

Will sitting on a bus bench get you further than sitting on a park bench? Then again, if you can vault off a park bench, just maybe, you begin to see a park bench and a bus bench as the same thing – an opportunity.

What do you think you see?

Tech stack for the bootstrapped author

Today, I was comparing the potential return on selling my book via Amazon and Ingram Spark, or making a shop and using Lulu Direct to fulfill my print orders. Turns out the difference in what returns to me as the author is very little between the two routes.

Am I wasting my time?

Probably, if I want to sell more than a few books. It’s way easier to forget building a shop on your website and just go all in with the main distributors of the day.

Not if casting a vote for my creative independence is important to me.

When I set up my own shop, no matter how many people show up—to browse or to buy—I’ve created a little space where it’s possible to connect with others.

Am I wasting my time?

You can be the judge of that.

For those interested, this appears to be the simplest and most efficient way to deliver my book, at least to begin with:

For Digital Products (Ebook + Audiobook):

  • Payment: Payhip
  • Delivery: BookFunnel (Already using BookFunnel to deliver Advanced Reader Copies, so it makes sense to use it again here)
  • Cost: Just transaction fees, no upfront investment

For Print Books:

  • Start: Manually input Lulu orders
  • Scale Later: Add automation when volume justifies it

For Audio Distribution:

  • Retailers: Findaway Voices (Audible, Apple, Spotify)
  • Direct Sales: BookFunnel

It’s easy when you know how.

My voice coach tells me he couldn’t write a book. I tell him I’m not sure I can record an audio file for mine. He smiles. “Speaking comes naturally—just sound like yourself.” “It’s easy,” I tell him—”Start by writing a blog, even one line a day.”

It’s not easy, because you don’t know how, but it’s not the knowledge we lack; it’s the courage to try.

Not all rules are created equal

Giving a talk can be a stressful business. How long should I talk for? How many slides should I use? What if my talk sucks?

We can offer people a slot, build them a platform, or even offer training. But what is much more helpful is to design a space where the focus is entirely on their message, with an audience that gets the joke.

Done well, enabling constraints encourage us to face our fears and share our work.

Social contract

To avoid problems, it might make sense to enter into a contract. For example, as a tenant, you might not want to take on a property with a leaking roof. In this case, it would make sense to ask the landlord to bear responsibility.

Loss avoidance is a powerful motivator—so powerful, in fact, that we can forget to ask for better.

Coaching is a social contract, and if we design it right, it allows us to focus on the work, not on unclear expectations or what we might lose when we fully invest.

Don’t design for the problem you can see, design for the outcome you want.

Perspective

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”

– Charlie Chaplin.

Sorry to disturb you

I recently worked with a freelancer who disappeared with the spec, only to return two weeks later with the finished article. We went our separate ways.

I asked for regular updates and got nothing but the “finished product.”

My current freelancer asks questions, voices concerns, and shares drafts. No one fully forms a spec, details don’t overwhelm us, and questions don’t sound too silly. We learn in the gaps of understanding. “I like that,” “Can we…,” “I wonder if…”

Spread out!

If you have ever coached youth in an invasion sport, you have probably shouted “spread out!” at some point. Kids spread out momentarily, then reconvene around the ball shortly after. What’s the point?

Last week, in a 30-yard by 30-yard grid with three mini-goals scattered throughout the pitch, I coached a 4v4 session. Every member of the team was aligned with the same thinking—score a goal. That’s teamwork, right?

Only one player began seeing things differently. True, the game required scoring goals, but what if the point was moving the ball away from the opposition and avoiding the crowd? Seven players were all doing the same thing —following the ball, and one had seen something different. 

Moments like this make coaching worthwhile. I wasn’t trying to get every kid to do the same thing; that’s why they follow the ball. My job was to help the group embrace a new idea, a new perspective, and test it.

When everyone on the team does the same thing, you have a rabble, not a team. Look for individuals who think differently and find ways to connect them to the rest. That’s the work of building a team.

Perfect for me

I was working this week with someone who said, “If it’s not up to my standards, then I’m not doing it. It’s not going out the door.”

What is that?

Control, stupidity, maybe stubbornness.

After all, perfect for you, is imperfect for someone else.

Depth, texture, richness, vitality, colour, tone, pick your edge, pick your partner, if you dare, and dance.

Red for stop

Blaming your tools

Fighting over the “spec” after agreeing to it

Missing deadlines

Producing substandard work post-deadline

Making up arbitrary rules to justify your work

Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. Go find green because green is for go!

Kissing a frog?

A question came up recently that got me thinking:

“Education leaders in football, how do we solve the problem of limited coach education in grassroots football?”

This is a problem when we constrain ourselves to the process.

Time becomes an issue. There is only limited contact time with coaches. We know this because few complete the step-wise process to mastery.

It’s rather like having 98% of doctors in surgeon training still dissecting frog hearts. Few get off the first step.

When you constrain yourself to the outcome, rather than the process, you get to design a different system.



This or that

I can’t help but think about false choices when I read about the restructuring of Welsh Rugby from four regional rugby teams to potentially two.

A false choice is offered when it’s either-or, and that either-or choice is presented as the only feasible choice.

Fan disengagement going from club rugby to regional rugby has been stark. It’s hard to imagine it will improve if fans are asked to follow one of two professional teams. Unless, of course, you believe in false choices.

Questions that challenge false choice thinking:

Who benefits?

What if neither of these options were available? What now?

The biggest mistake we can make is to seek solutions to badly designed products that should not exist in the first place.

The bones of your session

If you have ever sung the song “Dem Bones,” you will know the toe bone is connected to the foot bone. And even if you haven’t, the chances are you have a fair idea that the knee bone is connected to the thigh bone. Singing songs is a great way to connect us to information, but it’s clearly not the only way we learn.

Perhaps the first thing we need to do when we teach is to figure out what information we are already connected to.

What do we know about the current situation we are in?

After all, we can’t forget that the knee bone is also connected to the leg bone.

Ordinary people

Ordinary people do extraordinary things when the conditions allow. At the heart of this idea is ownership and accountability. The situation you find yourself in has to happen for you, not to you.

This week, I found an old whiteboard sheet while clearing out the attic, and rather than throwing it away, I decided to keep it. It’s taken from the book The Oz Principle. And if you know the story of the Wizard of Oz, you will know Dorothy and her companions find the answers to their challenges, not in their journey, but within themselves.

After listening to a podcast by a pal of mine, Russell Earnshaw, over the weekend, who uses: See it, Share it, and Solve it. I thought I’d have a go at adapting the four principles of See it, Own it, Solve it, and Do it to coaching youth sport.

See It – What are we seeing? Not what we hope to see, or want to see, but what is actually happening. Do we have a shared vision, or are we all on different pages?

Share It – Encourage open communication about challenges, feelings, or problems. This is much more developmentally appropriate than expecting kids to fully “own” responsibility the way adults might. Sharing creates psychological safety and builds trust.

Solve It – Guide them through problem-solving rather than just giving answers. Ask questions like “What could you try differently next time?” or “What would help you succeed here?”

Do It – Support them in taking action on their solutions, providing encouragement and accountability appropriate for their age.

The take-home message is this: Courage, heart, and wisdom are available to all.

Time honoured

Usually, a practice that has stood the test of time because it’s accepted or has value.

“I won’t waste your time” is time-honoured too.

Since time is all we have, that’s a practice worth keeping.

When the blind lead the blind

There is a saying in youth sport, “If you are good enough, you are old enough.” After all, sport, in particular performance sport, is a meritocracy. Age is less important than ability.

When I was a young coach, I worked at a junior football camp to gain experience working with groups. One child refused to take his backpack off for the entire session. I learned that it was chaotic, and little I said or did seemed to change that.

Rather than put me off coaching, I figured, since it was chaotic, I might as well throw myself in at the deep end. Work with a first-team professional football squad soon followed, despite my only being 28 years old – if you are good enough, you are old enough.

At a grassroots level, we accept that novice coaches work with novice players, however backward that might seem. Those who know little about the game are supported by those who know a little about the game. In utopia, it wouldn’t be this way, but here on planet Earth, it is.

When it comes to age group coaching, perhaps we should return to the adage: Age is less important than ability.

What is “good enough?”

Independence

“What’s the goal of this activity?” is a generous question to ask.

You might be writing a book to connect to potential or existing clients. It could be a chance to raise status and be seen as a “thought leader.” Seth Godin encourages you to write for change.

All are possible, and can mean different things to different folks.

Writing a book that offers its creator independence of thought, and maybe, in time, security, is a very different book from one that sells what you do.

It starts with writing down what you want to achieve.

One way or the other?

Gone on a bit of a mad one this week, looking at risk, precision, and recall. 

Not my area of expertise by any stretch. I wanted to know the impact of the different types of errors on decision-making.

First up, here’s some context: My structural editor, B, has signed off on my book content; it’s time to apply the polish. Only, it turns out polish is not cheap. 

Here are two outcomes for you: 

  • The “Positive” Outcome: You sell enough books to make a profit.
  • The “Negative” Outcome: The book does not sell, and you lose the £3,000.

Now, if we look at the average outcome, which is a smart move when you are taking a look at how to ground yourself, we know the average author sells 250 books. 

If you sell a book at £9.99, you can expect a £5 profit. Not great news if your operating costs are £3,000 ( 250 x £5 = £1,250).

Knowing what the average author sells is useful, but not helpful, since it is likely that in a room full of authors, one author will have outsold all the other authors put together. We need to be a little more cautious about our prediction. 

Let’s take a look at the possible errors: 

Type I Error (False Positive): You predict the book will be profitable when it won’t be

  • You spend £3,000 on polish and lose money
  • This is your main downside risk

Type II Error (False Negative): You predict the book won’t be profitable when it would be

  • You don’t polish/publish and miss out on potential profit
  • Opportunity cost varies depending on how much you actually would have made

The asymmetry is crucial here. Our Type I error has a fixed, known cost (£3,000 loss), while our Type II error cost depends on the unknown upside.

The question is, what would you do? Which error are you going to accept?

I find this interesting – in a world where we are after perfection, it’s humbling to know even simple low low-key decisions like this contain error. 

What did I do? 

I can’t tell you! You’ll have to wait and see 🙂

What are the chances?

What are the chances that a grassroots coach will know what to teach a group of youth players who are at various stages of development?

The coach education system currently argues that it is much more likely a coach will know what their group needs once they complete formal coach education. How much more likely is unclear. And how much more likely it would be if they continue their coach education is also unclear.

The current system’s logic goes something like: “If we just give coaches enough education about periodization, motor learning, psychological development, tactical progression, etc., they’ll know what to do in any situation.” But even if formal education doubles or triples the chances a grassroots coach knows what to teach (and we have no real evidence it does), I still don’t think I like the odds.

What if we designed a system based on precision? Rather than hope that a coach will learn what they need to teach, we removed all hope and replaced it with design.

Rather than guess what people need, we learnt to gather and connect. We might not be good at that either. But the cost of being poor at that might just be less expensive than trying to develop the deep understanding of a complex set of circumstances that is youth sport development.

We can hope for luck or design for skill; it’s on us.

What should we teach?

Maybe what’s on the test. Or what is age-appropriate. Perhaps principles of play?

We organize around the content, and then figure out ways to deliver it.

What if we asked, “How do we want to be together while we learn?”

It’s not that content isn’t important—it is—but not more important than context or culture.

Instead of asking:

“How do we teach communication skills?”

Ask:

“What conditions help people connect authentically?”

“What we practice” emerges from the design, rather than driving it.

The cost of being wrong

Conservative: “I’ll only say yes when I’m really sure” (high precision, low recall)

Risky: “I’d rather catch all the real cases, even if I’m wrong sometimes” (high recall, low precision)

Do you never throw the dice, since you don’t like the odds, or do you throw the dice because you might get a 6?

The trade-off is this: you can’t maximise both precision and recall, so which error do you accept?

In youth sports, it’s tempting to believe we are playing high-stakes games when, in truth, it’s much more likely we don’t understand the cost of our errors.

If failure is too costly to bear, don’t play the game.

We’ve come this far?

We’ve come this far. A rallying call of the foolish, or the final step for the committed.

How do we know which one we are?

The foolish or the committed?

Knowing what you know now, not then, would you take this next step?

Yes, for committed. No, for foolish.

It’s not change if it doesn’t happen

It’s tempting to think that the reason coaches are reluctant to adopt an “open book” approach to their coaching philosophy is that it’s the hard part.

Perhaps it’s a lack of reflective practice.

Or a lack of perceived value around going upstream to ask the big questions, like: What is your coaching for?

But what if that was the simple part, and the hard part was change?

Ask a coach about what they find frustrating, and I’m sure most will tell you it’s watching their students repeat the same mistake. Change is hard, and learning is not risk-free, which is why we need to design for it.

Making it count

My eldest is entering the business end of her school life. Whether I have any anxiety, stress, or ambition, it’s my job not to pass it on. Easier said than done.

So, I turned to Donella Meadows’ Guided Envisioning of a Sustainable World for inspiration. Why? Because who better to turn to when you want to reimagine something than a mentor whose suggestions include “get to the beat.”

I asked Claude, “Using Donella Meadows’ prompts about Guided Envisioning of a Sustainable World – how can I use this to help my teenage daughter envision her next two years in school?”:

Here’s the framework Claude suggested:

The Home (Her Learning Environment)

What would it feel like to wake up ready for school each day?

  • What kind of energy would she want to bring to her learning?
  • What would make her excited to start the day?

Who would be part of her learning community?

  • What kinds of relationships does she want with teachers, friends, and mentors?
  • How does she want to feel when she’s with them?

Where would her intellectual “energy” come from?

  • What subjects, activities, or experiences would fuel her curiosity?
  • What would nourish her growth and learning?

The School Neighborhood

How would her school community be arranged for everyone’s well-being?

  • What would make younger and older students, different types of learners, all feel they belong?
  • How would differences in interests, abilities, and backgrounds be celebrated?

What is her special role or contribution?

  • What unique gifts does she want to develop and share?
  • How does she want to collaborate with others?
  • What kind of “work” (projects, leadership, creative expression) calls to her?

The Broader Community

How does she want to connect her learning to the wider world?

  • What real problems or opportunities in her community spark her interest?
  • How might she bridge school learning with meaningful contribution?

How does she envision relationships between different groups?

  • Across age groups, interests, and backgrounds?
  • Between her generation and nature/environment?

The Bigger Picture (Her Future Path)

What kind of post-graduation world does she want to help create?

  • Does traditional college feel right, or are there other paths calling her?
  • How does she want to be part of positive change?

The Underlying Mindset

How does she want to feel about herself and her life during these two years?

  • What pace feels sustainable and joyful rather than frantic?
  • What fascinates her most right now?
  • What makes her laugh and feel alive?
  • What does “progress” mean to her personally?

Give it a shot!

Who you know

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”

Most of us take this to mean getting a leg up—being offered a chance that wouldn’t otherwise come your way, or getting in through the back door.

But what if it meant something different? What if it meant: “Who challenges you?” or “Who connects you to new perspectives or ways of working?”

Fun and failure

One of the great opportunities that the world of physical fitness offers us is the opportunity to design for, embrace, and work with failure.

Not the type that ends in crutches, medical bills, and long lay-offs, but the type that can be endured.

Not because I want to suggest that failure is fun, but rather, rewarding in a creative sense.

The serious business of play.

Reading your audience

If a writer needs to know where they are taking their audience, how to make them feel, what they want them to understand, and what to take away, then the learning designer, coach, or teacher is no different.

The next step

After you write this book, what’s next?

What’s the next step?

We are hard-wired to ask “What’s next?” when a better question might be, “What are you working on now?”

If you watch kids engaged in play, all they are focused on is the now. 

We are told that being curious is good; asking helpful questions is better.

Don’t make me come over there!

No coach I know wants to deliver dull, drab, funless sessions. I also know plenty of coaches who are unsure where discipline, structure, and rules sit within their practice.

Here are two key constraints worth considering when coaching kids:

Without governing constraints, basic boundaries, sessions can quickly descend into chaos, with the group dynamics being controlled by the loudest, or most influential (certainly not the coach).

An enabling constraint could be that everyone on the team needs to touch the ball at least once before the team can score. You are not telling them “how” to play, but you are helping kids think about cooperation. communication and problem-solving.

When the situation is chaotic, you’re missing a governing constraint.

A chaotic situation is often the result of not having clear, simple rules. Without these non-negotiable boundaries, the group’s energy isn’t channelled—it just spills out in all directions. This is where you see safety issues, kids ignoring instructions, and a few dominant personalities taking over.

When the situation is complex, it’s time for an enabling constraint.

A truly complex situation is a game or a drill with many moving parts and unpredictable outcomes. This is the environment where kids learn and grow, but they still need some guidance.

Herding cats is an option, but I’m not sure it’s much of a career.

A question worth asking is: Am I making this a chaotic situation, or is it really complex?

Read your work

An editor friend of mine once gave me a piece of advice that stuck: “Read your work.” It’s a great way to check if your sentence structures work and if what you have written makes sense – it’s good practice.

Reading your work out loud as if to an audience (real or imagined) brings a new level of analysis. Read it flat by all means, but at some point it pays to find:

The subtext, and where to place emphasis?

How about the rate of speech? Does it require careful reading, or is it a passionate rant?

What emotions come off the page and into your voice?

How about the volume? Are you loud, do you trail off, or is it a whisper?

You don’t always need to shout to be heard; sometimes, putting your voice on the page is the final stage to owning what you have written.

What am I expecting?

In complex situations, predicting what will happen next is pointless; no one knows. Instead, we act in the hope of learning something about the situation we are in.

How complex is the situation you face?

Do patterns repeat?

Are the rules clear?

Does the feedback reflect the reality on the ground? Is it clear?

Although they might feel the same, chaotic is not the same as complex.

Consumption

A question that made me think this week: How was your consumption this week?

Think about:

Media

Food

Friends

As my old statistics lecturer used to say, “crap in, crap out.”

What might it look like?

I want to expand on the thoughts of yesterday – The Linchpin Paradox.

What might a grassroots club look and feel like if it were to be a culture club?

This idea centers on the first and easiest step: gathering and transferring knowledge.

Themes to explore:

What are we seeing? What are we noticing?

What are we trying? Share a quick win. Share what isn’t working?

How are we supporting each other? Tell me about a time you supported another coach this month.

How can we support you? What can we help you with next month?

Connect to each other, connect to the culture, and build from the ground up.

The Linchpin Paradox: Why Grassroots Coaching Culture Drives Churn

If you are a cog in a machine, you are replaceable; there are many more cogs than there are machines. If you are a linchpin, you are critical to the success of a process, and without a linchpin, the machine doesn’t function quite the way it could. A linchpin possesses creativity, problem-solving, and emotional labour, and is much more likely to take a systems view.

Are grassroots coaches “cogs” or “linchpins”?

A coach is asked to scope, co-create, and deliver learning experiences.

A coach is expected to be the bridge to parents, connecting them to the club’s values, expectations for player behaviours, and a moderator of sideline support.

A coach is an impresario; they organise the orchestra.

Yet, ask a grassroots coach if they are part of a wider “workforce,” and they are unlikely to know what you are talking about – much like a cog in a machine that focuses on its specific function.

Yet, many grassroots coaches quit once their child has moved through the age groups or quits the sport.

Yet, grassroots coaches are trained in the art of war – the tactical and technical elements of sport – not the war of art.

And my point?

If you have a linchpin in your organisation (my guess is that you have many more than you think), wouldn’t you ask them to contribute to the culture of the club or organisation, instead of sending out coach developers to fix the problem of “churn?”

People who can scope, co-create, and deliver learning experiences don’t grow on trees, but they do grow in a culture that knows the difference between a cog and a linchpin.

Facing forward

In the gap between curious and committed lies a question:

What would have to be true for you to commit fully to this process?

The evolution of ideas

Today, I learned about the importance of writing down ideas and revisiting them through the lens of the evolution of ideas.

Having encouraged my kids to write down their ideas at the start of the year, only to see them still stationary, it’s tempting to use them as a stick to beat them with.

The evolution of ideas suggests that it’s not you who is useless or lazy, but rather that the idea you came up with is not very good.

Write down your idea. “I want to save £60” is a start.

Use the difficulty. “What did you discover?” “What did you learn?”

Evolve your idea. “What do you want to change?”

And so it goes on, asking questions to build a clearer picture of what it’s going to take.

What struck me in this process with my kids was the importance of encouraging my kids not only to voice their ideas but to find a way to hold them to those ideas to find a better way forward.

Daring to dream starts with caring to ask: How are you getting on?

I’ll never use that!

It’s hard to imagine the use of the masculine and feminine verbs in French if you’ve never met anyone from France. And algebra? It won’t really click if you’re still counting on your fingers.

Getting to know the person you’re teaching or coaching helps. It helps because you can apply what you’re teaching to their world. It still amazes me to see Strength and Conditioning coaches ignore the person in front of them and begin a crash course in pseudo-elite training.

Here’s a starting point to help you connect with your players or clients. Feel free to insert your sport or activity in the gaps:

What is [Your Sport/Domain] to you?

What do you do for fun?

Write a story about your life that includes answers to the following questions:

  • As a [Your Sport/Domain] player, how do you learn best?
  • Tell me a significant story about [Your Sport/Domain] from your life
  • Tell me about someone who supported you and helped you to learn about [Your Sport/Domain].

Showing an interest in the person you are teaching or coaching is good practice, saying “I’ll never use that!”, not so much.

We can work it out

Partnerships don’t work because we are the same; they work because we figured out how to get the best out of each other. Trying to compete with or change someone in the end is futile; changing yourself, not so much.

They look right

.. and you… go left.

Not because that’s the alternative way to go, but because you’re asking a different question, and for that to happen, you need to be looking in a different direction.

Picking a different metric

If your competition focuses on the next sale, can you afford to focus on how you build trust instead? Selling more in the long run might be better than selling more this month.

It’s not as crazy as it sounds since it’s far cheaper to retain a customer than it is to attract one, and even easier to sell to someone who trusts you.

Repeat business is better than new business; act accordingly.

Playful Practice

To help design a practice session or a coaching practice, consider these two questions:

What do you want your practice to look like?

What do you want your practice to feel like?

For example, if you aim for a playful practice, you can directly ask your players: “What does a playful practice look like?” and “What does a playful practice feel like?”

A recent study of coaching practice in youth football showed that coaches spent over 20% of practice time in transition, talking about what to do next or what had just happened.”

Once the purpose is clear, design accordingly.

Only time will tell

Two of the kids I worked with for a number of years have had a stellar week. Darcy Harry won her first European Golf Tour Event, and Joel Makin had his first win on the Professional Squash Association Tour.

Darcy was following in the footsteps of her talented older brother, Tim. Joel lacked the technical abilities of his peer group. Both were underdogs, neither fancied as professional athletes, and yet here we are.

I built Elite Fitness on the idea of elite performance and winning, after all, the tagline in bold across a wall in the gym was:

“It’s not the taking part that counts.”

But, now what I wish it said:

“Don’t look for success, look for commitment.”

No time to play

Most grassroots coaches only have one hour a week of coaching contact time. That’s one hour to deliver a sports-specific coaching session, plus maybe a game on the weekend.

There isn’t much time to play around. It might be the only time a child gets to kick, hit, or throw a ball, for example. If you’re a netball coach, you don’t want your players kicking a ball or skateboarding; you want them playing netball.

In isolation, it makes sense. But in terms of athletic development, not so much, and when considering human connection, maybe no sense at all.

How we use our time is a story, and it’s a story worth talking about.

Here’s a conversation starter, provided we remember that the word audit comes from the Latin word “audire,” which means “to hear,” not judge.

The power of paradox

When two seemingly sensible ideas collide, and either side looks as good as the other, you may have a paradox. Take the Athletic Entrepreneur, whose clients would spend more time taking care of themselves, if only they didn’t need to work.

Balance is elusive.

The power is not in trying to solve or ignore it, since each day could bring a new answer; so choose, for now, and perhaps enjoy the fact that you have a choice.

Can you……?

“Can you get on the ball?” ” Can you make space?” You get the idea.

Rather than tell someone exactly where to go, you offer a challenge. “Can you win the ball back?” It’s a checking question on the player’s capability, a reality check for the current situation or perceived limitations.

“What if”, on the other hand, expands the possibilities. “What if you got on the ball?” ” What if you changed where you receive the ball?”

You might not think you can get on the ball now, but what if you could explore what you think is possible?

Tx to Harvard Project Zero

Fact check

You might believe something, even justify it, yet it’s not a fact, however hard you argue. Luck plays its part. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

A Siren’s calling?

How do you know if the project you are pursuing is not a siren’s call? A waste of time, or a flight of fancy, even a sunk cost. A blundering, plundering wreck.

It’s easy – are you answering the call of someone else, a siren? Or are you honouring your time?

Doubt is attractive. So to the future.

Dear future self, I’m putting myself where I will learn to facilitate gatherings, support other people through coaching, and express my ideas.

What supports the purpose?

It’s not mantras, affirmations, or even journaling; it’s action. It’s not what you say you do, but what you actually stand for.

If it’s not already, it will soon be preseason training for many professional football clubs. The first few days are taken up by people with clipboards, taking notes, and comparing data. And the purpose of all this? Baseline measurements.

In between four to six weeks of preseason training, we can expect players to increase their performance from baseline by around 10%. Of course, for some it will be more, and others less, but you get the idea: it helps to know where you began.

And yet, football is a people’s game. Data helps, but it can’t kick a ball for you.

If we were to design pre-season with the connection and collaboration of the individual player and squad in mind, I doubt we would design it like we do now. The first interaction a fitness coach could have with a new player could be with data in mind and a clipboard in hand.

When gathering people on purpose, nothing kills the party like a clipboard.

Who does the picking?

On a client recruitment drive, do you pick the clients, or do they choose you?

Traditionally, wedding fayres are a chance for vendors to be chosen. Prospective providers pay to meet potential clients, and the fee often reflects the status of the venue and the event. It’s a transactional model.

But what if you could pick who you work with?

Imagine an alternative wedding fayre where you don’t invite the couples planning their wedding. Instead, you invite the trades that help make the wedding happen. 

A wedding dress designer needs stunning portfolio photos of her wedding dresses. A makeup artist needs to showcase their work in context. Venues and photographers also need high-quality imagery that highlights their expertise. So, why not invite a few models and produce the work that you all need – high-quality photos of the work that you can do?

A makeup artist might love how a photographer captured their work. A wedding dress designer could build a great rapport with a venue, potentially leading to a spot on their preferred vendor list. What started as a need for professional portfolios to attract clients ends with collaboration to produce an end product that the client desires.

You could wait to get picked, or you could pick the conditions you need to do your best work.

Is reason enough?

When making a presentation, it’s tempting to tell people what you know. If it’s a workshop, perhaps you can show them what you know.

What would change if you started with what you want the person receiving the information to do differently?

Grassroots coaches are a disconnected bunch; even coaches within the same club rarely know each other. That’s a good reason to start something like Coach Camp. However, its purpose is to change how coaches interact with each other.

Telling or showing people what you know is not enough; once you have a purpose, you can design for it, and that can change what you do.

Do you trust yourself enough?

To take a day off and know you will return tomorrow.

To complete the project and ignore the doubters, both inside and out.

Not to control the outcome, just the conditions you can control.

To do the things you said you would.

If you don’t, perhaps it’s a good place to start.

The odd one out

As a young sports scientist working in football, I often felt like the odd one out. I lost count of the times my manager would pass me in the corridor as if I weren’t there, seemingly picking and choosing when to acknowledge me. If it’s true that diversity often precedes inclusion, then it pays to start with the end in mind.

Go when it’s green

Green for go, red for stop. But what about amber? “Maybe”? In reality, it’s simply a signal that conditions are shifting from favorable (green) to unfavorable (red).

Today, I finally pushed a project forward that had been on red for a long time. It got me thinking about when we decide we are good to go. Are we waiting for the absolutely perfect moment, or just when it’s “good enough”? And if it’s “good enough,” what does that truly mean, because it’s not amber; it’s still undeniably green.

Green means go, and when you do, it’s time to put your foot down!

When two become one

Here’s a brilliant example of what being an impresario looks like:

You find someone who hasn’t thought of doing the thing you want to do, facilitate it for them, and then you work with them to delight the audience.

The writer Steven Pressfield hadn’t thought to teach writing. I mean, why would you, if you’re busy with your craft? But Roda Ahmed saw what no one else did: an opportunity to gather people for a reason—to overcome resistance and write. Steve knows all about that.

Okay, you have to focus on the details, logistics, and where to put things, but not before you figure out what to do with the people. That’s the magic.

What’s your story?

Everyone has a story, and therefore, a book within them, if they can get their story out. But what will you use it for? A chance to tell your story so people know who you are, or a lens through which the reader can look?

Perhaps now, you don’t need to worry about the attention it may bring (good or bad), but rather the understanding you can offer.

Hop, skip, and jump

In the triple jump, the stages are clear: hop, skip, and jump. For the high jump, they are: approach, takeoff, and clearing the bar.

The job of a coach is to support their athlete in jumping the furthest or highest. And while we would like to think that the outcome drives the process, is that what really happens? If we are a coach who feels comfortable coaching the approach but not the takeoff, what happens then?

We might like to think we compete with other coaches, when in truth, we compete with ourselves.

Let’s change the narrative.

Join us at Coach Camp, where we affirm and challenge each other to do better. I hope to see you there. The next event is Saturday, 31st May at Sport Wales, you can get your FREE ticket here.

What would you like more of?

If we treat learning as a “comprehension test” where an expert invariably gives out information, and then we spit back out the bits we understood, liked, or assumed we need to know, then “I need more information” is worthwhile feedback.

What would you like more of?

Of course, we could always try inspiring people to look to write their own story.

Deciding the spec

When Mike Matheny wrote the Matheny Manifesto, he was deciding the spec, just like Pete Carroll with his “Win Forever” approach.

You might look at both the names and think: “Who am I to write a coaching manifesto?” Well, who are you not to write a coaching manifesto? After all, if you don’t decide the spec, who will?

In the moment

If you have ever read a book, eager to get to the end or the exciting bit, you will know how hard it can be to be present and focus on the now, the thing that needs your attention, not the thing that is pulling you along.

I felt this morning in yoga, and again while reading through the final few pages of the book, I’m trying to get out the door.

I’m not sure it’s even about seeing the finish line, just the appreciation of what it takes to stay the distance and allow yourself to do the work that needs your attention.

Fire starts with a flame

Or more accurately, a source of ignition. Of course, having a flame is never enough; you need fuel and oxygen.

The initial, energetic declaration of a coaching manifesto sparks interest, yet the grounded principles of a coaching philosophy are what build the practice – a place where you belong.

What experience would you like to create for yourself? 

List the skills that would make your work more effective.

Steel is real

If you were riding bikes before the 1980s, they were likely steel frames; anytime after, it’s a choice. It could be the flexibility in the frame, the look, or perhaps the way it makes you feel. Whatever it is, a steel frame bike has inherent value.

Inherent value: something other than market value. ‘We’re not trying to make the most bikes, we’re trying to make the best bikes.’

When you change what you pay attention to, you change what you do.

It’s a resilient industry because of the choices that are made, and one of those is to work in a shed, not a factory.

The long tail of coach development

Thanks to Chris Anderson, aggregates have long been a topic of discussion. They bring together disparate ideas, offerings, and pieces of information into a single, unified platform or service. Aggregates simplify access, streamline choice, and often normalise service levels.

Many industries have considered service directories and accreditation as the answer to aggregation. But that’s missing the point -that’s more about trying to unify the thinking, not the offer.

When the sum of the parts is greater than the whole, you have aggregation; a way of creating a new, unified experience that offers value that wasn’t there before.

If we are serious about coach development, accreditation may not be as important as aggregation.

Forming an opinion

A key element of cooperative learning is forming an opinion.

Think – Pair – Share.

Whilst comparing notes is important, having your own opinion, and not just one you heard, might be the way to go.

What type of feedback do you want?

There’s the positive stuff – do more; the negative – do less; and the downright confusing – are we even talking about the same thing?

For example, if you design a discovery experience and the feedback asks for more information upfront, then it’s not more or less feedback you need; it’s clearer communication of who it is for and what it is for.

You don’t need to hear from someone who is rowing north to see the penguins when you are rowing south.

Realistically, what are your dreams?

I heard a reporter ask Rob McElhenney, co-owner of the newly promoted Wrexham FC, this question:

“Realistically, what are your dreams?”

Yes, it’s an oxymoron, but it’s also a reminder – “Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible,” a saying attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi.

If you’re not sure what the next step towards your dream is, try sorting what you think you need to do into three piles: necessary, possible, and impossible. Then, go from there.

Price is a story

Three questions to get your story straight:

What signal do you want to send about how you see yourself?

What message do others believe about your service?

How can your prices reflect this?

For example, if you are an author who wants to sell books and build an audience, it could make sense to scale the value of your time exponentially based on the number of people you are interacting with and the connection you are creating.

A book costs £10

A talk at a conference £100

A day of consulting £10,000

What’s your story?

The Amateur, Professional and the Master.

“Amateurs worry about equipment, professionals worry about money,
masters worry about light. I just make pictures…”Vernon Trent

This quote by Vernon Trent makes me think about the information we use to make the decisions we take. For all the constraints and the status, the master sees the opportunity and acts.

Where’s the opportunity?

Beyond the label

The job of a label is to carry a message.

The problem comes when the label is not clear, and the message is misunderstood. 

Mentor, coach, teacher, manager, guide by the side, sage on the stage, and my favourite, knowledge sherpa, are all labels.

The trap is to waste time on the label and ignore the real work of improving the message.  

How do we want to be ‘together” is a great place to start.

The Twix Brothers

It’s said that the Twix brothers fell out and went their separate ways, only to produce the left and the right Twix bar, the combined result of which is the bar we know today.

I wonder how many sports franchises and sporting national governing bodies are trying to get kids into sports, and yet don’t talk to each other.

Play Netball connects individuals who want to play netball to teams and leagues in the local area. A staggering 66% of players have come to Play Netball as individuals, not as part of a team or friendship group, with 35,000 players registered in 150 locations across the UK.

I’m not sure I need to say anything else, other than if you are the left hand, it pays to know what the right hand is doing.

If you need a place to talk about what you are working on now, Coach Camp could be the place for you.

In general, or in particular

Last week, I dropped the term “age performance” into my email newsletter group (496 subscribers) and asked the group if it was something they were interested in.

81% opened the email.

1% clicked on the link.

0.002% responded to the poll.

If this were you, would you:

  1. Accept the group narrative?
  2. Or dig deeper for those who responded?

I think it’s fair to say that, as a group, we don’t care; as an individual, you might. Groups will create a narrative that suits the group’s needs, and individuals have to deal with the facts of reality. And this is where it gets interesting, because there is an argument for designing a business/service for those motivated to take action, even if it is the 0.002%.

Most, I feel, would switch and try to find something that more people are interested in.

Where do you want to put your attention?

As coaches, it’s our job to ask: Where do I want to direct attention?

How did you get on with the exercise described in the video?

Coaches suffer from overwhelm, just like anyone else. We try to focus on what our coaching is for, but the ‘busy’ takes over: writing sessions, keeping people happy, promoting what we do.

This is why Coach Camp exists. It’s about directing your attention towards your coaching, even if it’s for a short time – a place to reclaim that focus.

If we want to improve the quality of our decisions, being selective about the information we use is critical. In practice, that’s hard; it’s easy to focus on doing the things we have always done, but when you do that, you don’t have much room for anything else. 

Join us on the last Saturday of every month. It’s a chance to step away from the noise, refocus, and connect with why you became a coach in the first place.

I hope you can join us: https://simonharling.blog/coach-camp/

Sport Sampling

The summer can be difficult for coaches who work in winter sports like rugby and football. Do you continue through the summer, or encourage an off-season of sports sampling?

Specialisation in one sport offers the potential for mastery, while sampling others provides a diverse range of often transferable physical skills. The question is: can either, or both, paths lead to the same destination—high-level sports performance?

The outside view: a term used to describe taking a perspective other than your own, is worth considering. As coaches, our experiences are not unique, and we are subject to predictable patterns and biases. Perhaps the same challenge the athletes we coach face. Wouldn’t you agree?

Click of your fingers

If you’ve ever clicked your fingers while you count to 50, you’ll know it’s pretty straightforward. Each time you click your fingers, incrementally increase the number until you reach 50. The quicker you click your fingers, the quicker you get to 50.

But what else was happening around you? Did you notice you got an email? Was that a knock at the door? You get the idea – the task at hand took your attention away from your surroundings.

Now, try clicking your fingers, and alternating between counting up to 50 and reciting the letters of the alphabet; For example, 1, A, 2, B, and so on. How did you get on?

Cognitive load suggests you’d be doing well to get past G.

Before you add to the task, it pays to find out where your attention is currently.

You are doing great!

Praise indeed! Or, Empty words? Two different sides of the same coin. My definition of success versus yours.

What are you working on? might be better.

What is today for?

Catch up? Clear out? Calls?

Work on creating my book, get out onto the trails, and connect with the family over food.

Tomorrow for me is Book, Bike, and BBQ – the things I love.

I’ll be working on my book, hitting the trails, and connecting with family over food.

What’s your day for?

Who inspires you?

It’s helpful to be around people who are doing the thing you’re trying to do.

Here I am, wrestling with a 3-minute skit for Coach Camp, while my daughter, 20 miles away, is warming up to perform on stage for hundreds.

Get it done, get out the door, and enjoy the rest of the day with family.

Youth Sport Paradox

A space where adults can act like children, and children are asked to act like adults.

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